I have a teenage son who is hanging out with friends who could be gang members. How can I tell for sure, and what can I do about it?

Gang membership is a lure for too many of our youth, and parents often feel helpless to combat it.  First, you need to become familiar with some of the possible warning signs of gang involvement. These include obsession with wearing particular colors of clothing or logos; wearing excessive amounts of jewelry with distinctive designs, often exclusively on one side of the body; obsession with gangster-related music, videos or movies; withdrawal from family members with a change in behavior or temperament; consistently breaking parental rules; development of excessive secrecy or need for privacy; using and practicing hand signs; lying about the circumstances of a physical injury; tattoos, graffiti, or other peculiar drawings or language on books or surfaces; unexplained acquisition of cash or other items; and alcohol or drug abuse. 

Second, you need to talk with your son in a caring, concerned, but not accusatory manner about his activities and those of his friends. Talk about gang activity generally in your neighborhood and at his school. Listen carefully to what he tells you to determine the extent of his knowledge, and try to assess if he is minimizing the influence of gangs to avoid your probing. Also, make sure you know your son’s friends and their parents.

Get involved in positive activities with your son as much as possible.  Encourage him to engage in after-school activities, such as organized sports through your local YMCA or Police Athletic League center. Volunteer activities such as working in community pantries or with the homeless or disabled are also extremely beneficial.  

Staff members from my office’s Gang Bureau have been working with the New York City Department of Education to teach young adults about the dangers of associating with gangs and how to resist the lure of gang culture. If you would like to arrange a presentation at your child’s school, suspect that your child might be in a gang, or wish to report gang activity in your neighborhood, please call Assistant District Attorney Frank Laghezza at 718-250-3073. All information will be kept confidential.

For additional information visit www.brooklynda.org. To have your questions answered in a future column, send them to asktheda@brooklynda.org.